So one of my high school classmates got engaged yesterday. That same day I was at my lola’s birthday brunch at their place, and her sister asked me when I was going to get married. Naturally I laughed it off, saying I’m too young — to which my sister replied that mom got married when she was only 25.
OH MY GOD.
I am really not prepared for marriage. I mean, the thought of being an adult has only just begun to sink in! And here is where it all begins. People my age are starting to get married, etc. I never thought this day would arrive when other people unintentionally rubs it in that I am getting older. The horror!
Marriage is something I definitely see for me, but not in the near future. Really. I even have a Pinterest board for it (hidden, because it’s pretty embarrassing). I like the thought of having a simple DIY wedding, but maybe when I’m like, 30 or something. I mean, in high school or when I was younger, I used to think I’d get married at 26 because it just seems the perfect age. But right now, I’m more concerned about buying a Nintendo 3DS, and catching up on PS3 games — not getting hitched.
It works for some people, I guess. But for me, I kind of feel like establishing myself as an individual first before I could get into something as serious as that. Be good at what I do. Devote time to drawing and making money off my creativity (this is serious!! Haha). Et cetera.
Love is beautiful, but I think I’ll say “I do” when I feel I’m ready.
P.S. While I’m so keen on spending my 13th month pay on purchasing a 3DS, here comes my mom telling me (upon learning of my classmate’s engagement) to keep it and start taking my (non-existent) savings seriously. I hate being an adult. I just want to play Pokémon. :(
“Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.”
On TV, I saw commercials of a Bruce Lee special on Bio. From what I know, he was only in his early 30′s at the time of his death. And then I thought, when I grow up (which is funny, because in the most technical sense, I have legally reached that time of my life 3 years ago). Anyway, when I “grow up”, I want to be like him — someone who is sure of himself. He knows what he wants. He is confident in every way.
Plus, everything the guy said was practically quotable.
Right now, two shows that are up in my roster of media consumption are New Girl and The Mindy Project. I love them because they’re both very funny and light-hearted, and maybe I can also relate to their characters’ awkwardness. But they are both in their early 30′s, and they are so far from the enlightened state that Bruce Lee was at the same age. How is that possible? Apart from the obvious differences in culture and period of time, I suppose.
New Girl shows Jess dealing with common everyday problems such as paying the rent and basically just trying to get by life (with the added twist of Zooey-ness, if you know what I mean). Mindy on the other hand… Well now that I think about it, she’s not in the same kind of familiar mundane mess that Jess is in. I guess it’s cause she’s living a good sustainable life being a doctor and everything. But she’s a mess in love. She’s someone who is somewhat sure of herself, but just can’t seem to find the right man to complete her perfect rom-com idea of life.
So what am I trying to say?
I don’t know.
I guess over time, the concept of reaching Self-actualization in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, changes. I’m sure not everyone during Bruce Lee’s time were as wise as him anyway. But it’s interesting how we find tiny, friendly pocket versions of his wisdom in pop culture now. So I think, though I want to attain sureness in my being “when I grow up”, I’ll just have to take it step by step. Maybe admire more of these fascinating people that I come across along the way.
Over the weekend it dawned on me that I have two focal resolutions that I’m not even waiting for next year to start doing.
- Strengthen my EQ. Meaning, as much as I am “kaladkarin”, I shouldn’t let the same principle be applied when being asked to eat out. I love food, but I should learn to draw the line and be the man in the food-Chi relationship! Mind over matter. Always ask the question, “Am I really hungry, or am I just craving for something to taste?”
- Spend less time online, and more time doing arts and crafts (especially during weekends). Apart from food and my boyfriend, I also have this strong relationship with the internet. I am terribly attached to it that sometimes I catch myself refreshing sites even when they don’t get updated; and going down dark rabbitholes that end up with me sleeping at around 2 in the morning. Me and a few office friends went to Bloom Arts Festival two weeks ago, and that was a wake-up call for me to do more personal art so I can hopefully join next time (or maybe other exhibits!).
Trina: Ate, bakit parang hindi ka umuutot?