Two things that happened to me since yesterday.

1. Metro Manila, having the best drainage system in the world, left me stranded in the Fort area because of a crazy downpour of rain and the floods that went with it. Either I get stuck in 4 hours worth of traffic or bunk in Gretch and Tats’ loft overnight. The latter was obviously the better choice. But being that I was unprepared for a sleepover, I had to buy toiletries. The basic stuff.

In 7-Eleven I got a panty, a toothbrush and a razor (because what the hell). LO AND BEHOLD. Beside me at the counter was THE crush-ng-bayan from one of our high school interactions with an all-boys school. He looked at me because he either recognized me or he thought I had questionable items being purchased OR there was a fat chance that he marveled at my blinding beauty.

2. Still outside 7-Eleven (but a different branch), I walked down the inclined ramp and literally fell on my butt, scratching the top thinnest layer of skin off my left arm while this happened.

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Yup.

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.

I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.

José Micard Teixeira

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Lists are always nice. I believe in making lists for keeping things in check. As much as we all love clutter, in some ways we do need to turn them into organized chaos to make everything better, right?

So here is a list I’ve made about myself that I think will help me with my constant quest for self-improvement. What are things that I dislike about myself that I only really realized after taking some time to note them down?

  1. I nurture too much, probably to the point of spoiling the receiver of my behavior.
  2. I don’t know how to say no.
  3. I feel the need to be appreciated from time to time. I equate this and praise to assurance.
  4. I get caught up with my emotions.
  5. I am not very graceful when dealing with strong feelings, and usually end up making the situation worse for myself.
  6. I overthink.
  7. I tend to want to understand or find a deeper meaning in things even when it’s unnecessary.
  8. I like dreaming, but there’s not much actual doing.
  9. I shy away from large groups of people.
  10. I lose track of where my money goes off to.

Though it’s great and all that I’ve pinned down my faults and bad tendencies, I shouldn’t let my shortcomings listed above define me. They do need work done, but I do appreciate a lot of aspects about myself, too:

  1. I have a good heart.
  2. I love helping.
  3. I have a good listening ear for anyone who needs it.
  4. I’m passionate in everything I set my mind and heart to.
  5. I’m amiable.
  6. I’m fun.
  7. I’m smart.
  8. I don’t dress terribly.
  9. I have a variety of interests that’s good  for not-so-normal kind of conversation.
  10. I find happiness in the littlest things.
  11. Though I can be snarky, I always do try to find good things in everyone.
  12. I have ambitions but I don’t let it shine more than what really matters.
  13. I’m always up for new things to experience.

So if I ever find myself in a slump of wavering self-worth, I’ll only need to look at this pocket list of the good things about myself that make me awesome.

I invite people to make their own lists, too! I found the exercise therapeutic and eye-opening, especially if you spend some time to think about what you want to put.

Today was tight

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  • Watched Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends in Trinoma. I felt that the first half was dragging – like the whole Kenshin/Seijuro bit could’ve been shorter to make room for further development of latter scenes. (For example, the Juppon Gatana were reduced to extras lacking dignified fight scenes). As a whole, the movie was great. What a way to end the trilogy!

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  • Bought new boots from SM Annex. I appease my still aghast-ensued spending for it with the thought that I bought a pair of shoes that can actually last me a lifetime. In Hana Yori Dango, there was a line where Shizuka said, “Wear nice shoes, and those shoes will take you to nice places.” What great adventures will my boot-clad feet take me, I wonder?
  • Went to Greenhills and got Yeen to taste butcheron for the first time in her life. For the ignorant (shame on you!), butcheron is basically chicken chicharon.
  • Picked up Che’s Funko Pop from Big Boys in Shoppesville.
  • Yeen surprised me when she got me Crichton’s Jurassic Park from Book Sale.
  • She also made a new batch of cookies to be shared by me, mom and Trina. I constantly urge her to make it into a business, because the world deserves to know how great she is at making cookies.

Ang Nawawala

  • Saw Ang Nawawala. I really felt for this movie, especially towards the end. I related to the concept of being more reserved about your true thoughts to your loved ones after the loss of someone in the family. I enjoyed the music, most of all. One question though: in the Halloween scene, why in the world did the girl Enid choose to dress up as a Twin Peaks character? It’s so obscure, and I find it a bit alienating for someone didn’t know about the series. Gotta love her hair and makeup though.

Poster-Sana Dati

  • Saw Sana Dati. Man, this film. Lovi Poe’s character is messed up. I sympathized with TJ Trinidad’s character for being so true and dedicated to Lovi Poe regardless of her emotional distance, because he so genuinely loved her and wished for happiness with her if she only let go of the past and looked his way.
  • Ate at Tornado Peri-Peri chicken in Maginhawa.

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Other photos:

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Annicka Dolonius (Ang Nawawala’s Enid) on stage. Instant girl crush alert.

Called a radio station today to join a contest. I didn’t even know what prize I would win. In 10 seconds, I should name 5 colors starting with the letter “B”.

Me: Brown… Burnt Sienna, Burnt Umber… Uh….
DJ: 5 seconds!
Me: UHHHHHHHH BEIGE…. UHHHH
DJ: Time’s up! Ohhh so close!

Didn’t even think of Black and Blue. The fine arts student is strong with me.