Two things that happened to me since yesterday.
1. Metro Manila, having the best drainage system in the world, left me stranded in the Fort area because of a crazy downpour of rain and the floods that went with it. Either I get stuck in 4 hours worth of traffic or bunk in Gretch and Tats’ loft overnight. The latter was obviously the better choice. But being that I was unprepared for a sleepover, I had to buy toiletries. The basic stuff.
In 7-Eleven I got a panty, a toothbrush and a razor (because what the hell). LO AND BEHOLD. Beside me at the counter was THE crush-ng-bayan from one of our high school interactions with an all-boys school. He looked at me because he either recognized me or he thought I had questionable items being purchased OR there was a fat chance that he marveled at my blinding beauty.
2. Still outside 7-Eleven (but a different branch), I walked down the inclined ramp and literally fell on my butt, scratching the top thinnest layer of skin off my left arm while this happened.
Lists are always nice. I believe in making lists for keeping things in check. As much as we all love clutter, in some ways we do need to turn them into organized chaos to make everything better, right?
So here is a list I’ve made about myself that I think will help me with my constant quest for self-improvement. What are things that I dislike about myself that I only really realized after taking some time to note them down?
- I nurture too much, probably to the point of spoiling the receiver of my behavior.
- I don’t know how to say no.
- I feel the need to be appreciated from time to time. I equate this and praise to assurance.
- I get caught up with my emotions.
- I am not very graceful when dealing with strong feelings, and usually end up making the situation worse for myself.
- I overthink.
- I tend to want to understand or find a deeper meaning in things even when it’s unnecessary.
- I like dreaming, but there’s not much actual doing.
- I shy away from large groups of people.
- I lose track of where my money goes off to.
Though it’s great and all that I’ve pinned down my faults and bad tendencies, I shouldn’t let my shortcomings listed above define me. They do need work done, but I do appreciate a lot of aspects about myself, too:
- I have a good heart.
- I love helping.
- I have a good listening ear for anyone who needs it.
- I’m passionate in everything I set my mind and heart to.
- I’m amiable.
- I’m fun.
- I’m smart.
- I don’t dress terribly.
- I have a variety of interests that’s good for not-so-normal kind of conversation.
- I find happiness in the littlest things.
- Though I can be snarky, I always do try to find good things in everyone.
- I have ambitions but I don’t let it shine more than what really matters.
- I’m always up for new things to experience.
So if I ever find myself in a slump of wavering self-worth, I’ll only need to look at this pocket list of the good things about myself that make me awesome.
I invite people to make their own lists, too! I found the exercise therapeutic and eye-opening, especially if you spend some time to think about what you want to put.
Called a radio station today to join a contest. I didn’t even know what prize I would win. In 10 seconds, I should name 5 colors starting with the letter “B”.
Me: Brown… Burnt Sienna, Burnt Umber… Uh….
DJ: 5 seconds!
Me: UHHHHHHHH BEIGE…. UHHHH
DJ: Time’s up! Ohhh so close!
Didn’t even think of Black and Blue. The fine arts student is strong with me.